Cheeky Brat

“Jack, where have you been?” demanded his mother, casting a beady eye across the wasted garden, dead ogre, and her wastrel son.

“Up the beans, conquered a giant, stole a fortune,” he replied.


Jack and the beanstalk by ~ketchup-suicide on deviantART

This weekend’s Trifextra¬†challenge was to use the Rule of Three in a 33 word piece.

 

 

25 Responses to Cheeky Brat

  1. Wow! Seriously great job of condensing this story. Also, good use of the word ‘wastrel’ – always a fave of mine!

    nice job :)

  2. Oooh, twice three is six!!! And in just 33 words. (3+3 if you will) Impressive.

  3. I still agree with Jamie, could be a spectacular Disney film! Love the language,and the image(and the illustration is great,too)!

  4. A triple double! Great job and amazing a fairy tale is condensed into 33 words. Awesome.

  5. Very cool and original!

  6. Love it. Clever retelling.

  7. Love it :-D Made me chuckle: I never had Jack down for a man of brevity.

  8. I’ve never heard the word ‘wastrel’ before – love adding to my vocabulary, and I love your little spin on an old tale.

  9. I like the way beady eye ties with the beans. And, like everyone else, I’m impressed that you got the whole fairy tale into 33 words.

  10. Man, TWO threes, now that’s fun. “Wastrel” is also one of my fave words; I use it to describe most of my former boyfriends, ha ha ha. Have to love Jack’s response. In fact, I wish I’d had this to read to Riley instead of the long contrivance that is the actual fairy tale! Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/09/14/black-sheep-a-tale-of-three-sisters/

  11. Great precis of a classic fairy tale!

  12. Big love for this little piece!

  13. I don’t know why, but the ‘casting a beady eye’ made me chuckle a bit. Great rendition of a familiar tale!

  14. That was an inspired, to the point, take on a well-known tale. Yay you!

  15. Just like a male, all summed up, no details. I like it. :)

  16. And in 33 words. Excellent! :D

  17. Ha! I too love the word wastrel here; nicely done!

  18. I like it!

  19. That about covers everything. Succinctly done.

  20. Very efficient use of 33 words. Loved the image of the wasted garden, dead ogre and, everybody’s favorite, the wastrel son. Never had ocasion to use wastrel, but I will try to use it in the future. Very nicely done.

  21. Ha! No surfeit of details from the son. Well done – I love retellings of familiar stories in new ways (as you know, of course).

  22. oh I giggled at the end. That was wonderful and perfect. It’s the 2012 version. (CALL DISNEY!)

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