A Fictional Shag Fest

I am dialing it in today, friends. I am all embroiled in NaNoWriMo foolishness, so you get a meme.

Here’s the deal, you name five fictional characters with whom you’d like to do the nasty. I stuck with television and movies, and I should admit, I’m fickle. My list revolves around the television I’m watching at the time, so I could probably re-do this meme every six months with some fresh results.

1. Hank Moody. Yes, David Duchovny. But seriously? Hank Moody is fucked up beyond recognition. Drowning his sorrows and lost love in a sea of–filthy, hot–one night stands, and yet. He loves his daughter. He pines for his ex. He appreciates women and mourns LA’s obsession with plastic surgery and perfection. He’s smart. He’s a writer. He’s foxy in his boxer briefs. He’s naughty and self-deprecating and wicked and funny. He drinks and fights and fucks with reckless abandon and manages to do it with the charm of a naughty little boy. Basically, I am devastated by him.

2. Fitzwilliam Darcy. Matthew Macfadyen or Colin Firth. Or the one who smolders in my head, from when I read the novel in college. Strong convictions, hidden passions, swimming in the pond at Pemberley… wait, where was I? Right! Forthright, stubborn, ultimately unable to deny his love for the woman whom society tells him is the wrong choice. Colin Freaking Firth! Swoon. Or Macfadyen, all rainy and soulful? I maybe have an unhealthy obsession with the Brits.


I do, without question, have an unhealthy obsession with the Brits. Read on.

3. The Doctor. David Tennant (though, in a pinch, I loved Christopher Eccleston’s beaky nose and northern accent). Total nerdgirl fantasy. The clever, passionate, lone time traveler with a heart of gold and wit to spare. The impossible intellect. The snark. The trainers, the coat, the sexy, messy hair, the anger and grief, the twinkle of mischief in his eyes. The love for Rose? Oh, Rose. The lopsided grin and imperfect teeth. The glasses? The piercing gaze? I could eat him up. Yum.

4. Gene Hunt. As played by Philip Glenister in the BBC’s Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes. Forgive me, Harvey Keitel. You are no slouch in the world-weary misogynistic 70’s/80’s cop department, but Glenister can call me “Bolly” anytime. Snakeskin boots. And we shan’t talk about going for a ride in the Quattro. Swoony swoon swoon.

5. Alex “Tig” Trager. Kim Coates on Sons of Anarchy. Because, folks, he makes me laugh, he’s all smoldery, and he’s got this almost sweet unspoken crush on the club president’s foxy, tough as nails old lady, Gemma. Also? I love the look of his naked back in his sexy scenes. And he has a fair amount of them.